Support Them, Challenge Them, or Leave Them Alone

Through teaching martial arts to children (at Aikido of Marin in Fairfax, CA), I have learned that I form a relationship with each and every kid in every single class. And in each moment, each child needs from me one of three things: support, challenge, or to be left alone.

When a child is struggling, when their attention is drifting, or when they are confused or lost, then I need to support them. Give them a private instruction, guide their hands in the technique we are practicing, or compliment their efforts. When a kid is having difficulty and I give them a little help and then an 'attaboy', I almost always see a smile of accomplishment and new relish for the training sweep over them.

When a child looks a little bit bored or appears to be lazily going through the motions, then I challenge them to try a variation of the technique, to come up with their own style of movement, or to switch partners and play the role of sempai (older student) and help teach one of the beginning students. If I stretch a student's practice even only a little bit, they will almost always return to the class at hand with increased interest and energy.

But my favorite moment of all is when I see a child focused on their practice and their partner, trying new and different ways of completing a technique, and even exploring with their partner exactly what makes a technique work or not work. When I see this kind of attention and engagement in the practice, then I can step back and sit in the corner and let them practice to their heart's content. Today I managed to sit for about 15 minutes straight while our sempai students taught our beginners all the elements of the yellow belt test. I loved it. That is the moment when aikido comes alive in their minds, bodies, and hearts!